Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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