your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
