i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Randomize