So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
