I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
