Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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