Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
