It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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