His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
