Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
