come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
