for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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