One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
