I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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