You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
