the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
The beer is more important than you right now.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
