Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
farters have to be the big spoon...
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
