Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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