Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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