it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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