She's JV to your varsity
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
