he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
