is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
