So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
