when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Randomize