would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
