It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
