I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
