this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
