I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
