She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
