When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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