If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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