Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
