I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Randomize
