I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
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