can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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