dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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