Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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