what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I think my vagina is haunted
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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