Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
