So drunk its hurt
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
