Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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