I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
