I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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