franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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