Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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