Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
