We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
