How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
then he tried to convert me to islam
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
