I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
