I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
not ubering you a puppy
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
