he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize