we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
