I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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