she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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