Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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